Ladies, in this lifetime you will develop many physical, emotional and social relationships. Be careful not to sabotage yourself by burning bridges. Do it too often and you will find yourself alone when you need friendship or assistance the most. Save yourself from having to swallow your pride later on down the road when you need to reach out to the people that you cut off or dismissed.

1.      What Does Burning Your Bridges mean? It can be done several ways: indirectly, with harsh verbal attacks, violently, or peacefully. Sometimes it is simply ignoring a person or alienating them. However it is done, you have made a decision to end the relationship in a way that is not easy to fix once done.

2.      Consequences of Burning Bridges. You might temporarily feel good about your decision. However, you should never make a permanent decision about a temporary situation or season in your life. For example, the teacher you disrespected might be able to help you to obtain college scholarships, or the business colleague whose talents you did not appreciate could be in a position to take your business to the next level.

3.      Damages Reputation. Remember that the world is not as big as it may seem. You never know who knows whom and your reputation follows you wherever you go. Burning bridges can cause you to close doors on future life changing opportunities.

4.      Be Tactful. Let’s be honest. Sometimes we have to end certain relationships, and it is easier to just cut people off. However, we do better in the long run by changing relationships with grace and tact. Remain cordial and keep them in your life (as long as they do not pose a physical threat or cause severe emotional damage). You can distance yourself from them, but remain friendly so you do not burn the bridge.  

What to do if you have already burned the bridge.

1.      Apologize. It is not always easy, but you must put your pride aside and apologize. By saying and doing nothing, you allow unaddressed issues to fester. This causes more harm than good. Nothing gets resolved and both parties are left stewing, wounded and full of assumptions. Explain that you were in a different head space and said or did something insensitive in the heat of the moment. Let them know that you would like to work on repairing the relationship if possible.

2.      Do not play the victim. Playing the victim when you were the perpetrator in the situation is not good for any relationship. Do not sit around waiting for the person you offended to come and apologize to you or make amends with you. They were not the one who damaged the relationship. Put your pride aside and get to apologizing and working on mending the bridge you burned.

3.      Karma. What goes around comes around ladies. You may think you will never see the person again after you have burned the bridge. After all, you run in different circles, right? WRONG! More than likely, you will cross paths again through mutual friends or business colleagues. Remember, only you can decide to make or break your future opportunities.

In a nutshell, be the friend or colleague you would want others to be to you. If you have decided that you need to make changes in your life and take a break from some relationships, explain what you are doing so the bridge remains intact. Do not leave people in the dark and avoid the regret of not being able to rebuild the bridge once you have destroyed it.