Those Bourgeois People

Debutante balls, cotillions, and beautillions I have been told, bring about a negative assumption about the participants and the organizations hosting such events are teaching young girls to be bourgeois. I must admit that once upon a time, I did not look favorably upon what seemed to be a "right of passage" that excluded me and other children who lived in my low-income community. My parents did not belong to a social or civic organization, have degrees, a lot of money and were not members of a fraternity/sorority or social/civic organization that hosted such events. The assumption in my neighborhood was that these types of programs were only for the "bourgeoisie." While this is not true, unfortunately, this thinking still exists for many people in general.

When I started offering professional etiquette and protocol training for my events business, Parker Events & Consulting, LLC, I had no idea I was laying the foundation for Exquisite Ladies by Design, Inc. (ELBD). Before I knew it I was teaching full etiquette, protocol, leadership and life skills courses that morphed into a Little Ladies Pre-Debutante Program, a Junior Ladies Debutante Program, and a Teen Leadership Program.The purpose of creating these programs was to provide an opportunity for all young girls and women to experience this life-changing right of passage regardless of their family's social-econommic backgrounds.

I have often been the recipient of rolling eyes, the brush off and downright dismissive behavior from men and women who have fed into the stereotypical thinking associated with debutante balls/cotillions and beautillions. I remember one gentleman told me that teaching etiquette to his basketball team would be a waste of time, because he did not think they would benefit from it. I assured him that Coaches and College Scouts are watching his athletes closely and them knowing how to carry themselves on and off of the court was invaluable. I was disappointed that he could not see the big picture, but far be it from me to shove etiquette down anyone's throat. Needless to say, I receive just as much positive feedback from sports, dance and cheer coaches, and parents who absolutely love what we do. 

ELBD exists due to my overwhelming love for uplifting youth and young women. Someone did it for me and I'm paying it forward. While I was a teen, my Godmother sent me to Charm School and it changed this little tomboys life forever! The tomboy is still there, but the classes allowed me to blossom and learn to adapt and adjust in every situation in all facets of life. I was blessed in my personal and professional life as I used the life skills I learned as a child and perfected as an adult. Regardless of their social economic backgrounds all young people are on a journey toward self discovery.

Our programs are to develop well rounded girls and young women, not soley on our students participating in a debutante/cotillion or beautillion at the end of our programs. We are concerned with the life skills students are learning while going through the program. We're not eager to dress children up and put them on display. It's an added plus for them after working hard in the program, but is not ELBD's primary focus. Our job is to transform them mentally and spiritually. With that being said, I'm thrilled to be a Certified Etiquette & Protocol Instructor, Life Skills Coach and the Founder and Executive Director of ELBD. It has been a blessing to watch little girls and young women transform. When a fourteen year old young man takes notes as you are teaching him etiquette online, you cannot help but smile. I've had a distraught mother reaching out for help for her "teen mom" daughter, and watched her shed tears of joy as she watched her daughter transform and step into grace and leadership. 

Yes, I'm doing what I was meant to do - change lives with the gifts that God has bestowed upon me and I charge others to do the same. ELBD has an unorthodox approach, but my point is to make it all plain and meaningful for my students. By the end of our ELBD programs, our students are confident and comfortable rubbing elbows with people from all walks of life. That, my friends, is the whole point of starting the programs. Despite their home environments, financial standing, or circumstances, the graduating students from ELBD programs go on to attend college, volunteer within their communities; lead debate teams; become involved in the political process; are published authors; have entered the world of pageantry; have become teen ambassadors for various organizations traveling the country and abroad; and are a "lighthouse" and a beacon of hope to others who cross their paths. Now, what in the world can be "negative" about any of that?